Recently I’ve been getting over heartbreak. It probably doesn’t show on my face or in my actions because I have THE best friends a girl could have but there’s still a teeny-weeny tinge in my chest whenever He comes into my mind or He shows up by updating his facebook status (which is rarely may i add!) But one question I want to pose to everyone out there is why does it seem to take girls longer than guys to get over a break-up?
I’ve only been in two serious relationships (so far.) My first relationship lasted a year, and my second 15 months. I want to say I’m not like most girls out there who sit with their friend Ben and Jerry’s, a hundred romantic comedies about how the guy gets the girl and never lets her go and her bedroom door locked from predictors, e.g. Mum and Dad. But that’s exactly was how my first break-up went. He was my first for pretty much everything so I was expected to have a complete break down over it, thinking I’d never find anyone else and I’d be alone forever. And my ex? Well he seemed to get over ‘us’ pretty quickly, a few days actually. He went out with his friends, went to football matches and gigs and commented every single girl’s wall he had on his facebook. (Ok, so I stalked him for a bit before deleting him, hasn’t everyone?!)
This contributes to proving that guys don’t seem to be bothered by a break-up, they just look on the bright side- they’re single again, along with half their friends or maybe they just don’t want to show any emotion that they are heartbroken to their mates, in case they are teased about it? So which one is it boys? Or is there another reason?
My second relationship broke down after 8 months of not seeing each other because he was on a gap year. This proved ‘easier’ than I thought to get over him as we didn’t have that emotional bond between us because I never saw him, hugged him or kissed him, yet two weeks after the split I became a wreck, crying all the time. Doesn’t make sense does it? But see, sometimes it doesn’t hit us girls until we realize that we don’t have that person in our life anymore (I didn’t for 8 months and it still affected me), and the bad thing about boyfriend no.2 was that he was my best friend and now it can never go back to how it was because he seems to not speak to me anymore (even when I spent loads of time with him when he came home 3 months ago).
I do believe ex’s can be friends, not as good as you were, but on a level where you can be civil to each other or given time, back together. But he too doesn’t seem to care that my heart broke and he just got on with single life, which for now is exactly what I’m doing. Why not become the female version of a male? Yes, that’s right, because we get called sluts. Oh damn, that’s life.
But it’s the same with my girlfriends. They have a complete melt down when they split up with their boyfriends, and of course I’m there in a flash to lend a shoulder (and some ice cream) and tell them how shit their ex’s are and that someone hotter will come along with bigger muscles and a bigger ‘uhum’, but do guys tell their mates any of this? That they will find someone better and much fitter? Maybe they just go ‘didn’t like her anyway. Xbox?’ or ‘she was a bitch. Xbox?’ and that’d be it. That’s their sympathy.
But for any guys out there that read this, please enlighten me as to what you and your mates do after a break-up because I just want to find that one guy who actually becomes affected by break-ups and prove that not all guys are steel hearted bastards.
So… anyone out there?